The Missing Pieces
by NewYorkNewYorkGirl
Summary: A Jax and Tara love story. Basically it follows what happened on the show, but fills in some of the blanks. Missing scenes and story context that was glossed over/ignored.
1. Chapter 1

So I'm a brand new fan of Sons of Anarchy. And a HUGE Jax and Tara shipper. They are the reason I've been sucked into this amazing show! So a few of the twists that have happened have left me a little irritated. Some things that I felt should have been addressed weren't... (Ima, the abortion, et cetra...) so this is my own way of getting the closer that I feel like I need! LOL!

Please read and review.

Jax watched silently, unsure of what, if anything, to say. Tara had just finished clearing her odds and ends of their shared bathroom in his home, as well as their bedroom.

As she made her way down the hallway, she grabbed her hair band that had been discarded on the coffee table. At the front door, she opened the closet and pulled out her jacket. She tossed one look over her shoulder at him, and he knew her heart was breaking just as much as his.

He wanted to run after her. To stop her. But he was frozen in place. The fear he felt was second only to the fear he'd kept hidden when he believed his premature son was going to die...but even then, he had know that the woman he had still loved - the woman he would always love - would do anything to save him.

He hadn't been fair to her in the last few months.

He'd accused her of coming home simply to let him do her dirty work where Kohn was concerned. Even as he'd said those words, he knew it wasn't true. And she'd forgiven him. Then she'd seen him kill the bastard. When he'd called Tara a "biker slut," something inside him had snapped.

All she'd asked of him after Kohn was gone was for them to figure out what was going on between them. He couldn't answer her because he knew she was better than the life he could offer her. He was too deep in it to simply walk away. He also knew that he wasn't strong enough to just let her leave...When she asked again, he knew she needed answers. But instead, he simply asked 'do you love me? It's a simple question, Babe.'

Then at the hospital, after Donna had died, he didn't exactly know what he was going to say to her...and though he had no right, he lashed out when she told him that Chicago was willing to take her back. She'd done everything she could to figure out what was going on between them, and he'd deflected. She let him know exactly what she wanted, he pushed her away and slept with Wendy. He accused her of running. Running from what, exactly, he didn't know. She'd stayed by his side after she'd seen him kill Kohn. She still believed he was a good man. And through it all, he was stringing her along, not giving her the answers she so desperately needed.

He couldn't give her a straight answer about what he wanted until he was faced with the idea of losing her. And he was angry. And still - she stayed. She loved him. He didn't deserve her.

All those years ago, when she'd begged and pleaded with him to leave Charming behind and start a life together somewhere else, it wasn't because she wanted to change him. Not even because she wanted to save him. It was because she knew him. The real him. And she loved him anyway.

Then she came home and he didn't know he could fall any deeper in love with her than he already was, but he did. He watched as the two women in his life set aside their differences and joined forces to love him and his son.

He could see the Cutlass pulling out the driveway, Tara pulling away from the life he was pushing her out of...a lump of emotions settled itself at the back of his throat. He eyes welled up with tears as the car disappeared around the corner. He turned back around and looked into the house that had never felt like a home until Tara and his son became his family there...

He'd watched as she rocked Abel to sleep at night and feed him a bottle in the morning. The way she listened to his breathing, just to make sure he was good and strong and didn't have any set backs.

When she'd walk in the house, and Abel would see her, he would have the biggest smile and his little chubby arms would rise in the air in an unspoken pleading for her to pick him up and shower him with kisses and affection.

He looked towards the bathroom and saw the shower stall, tears coming to his eyes. The memory of that night...the fear he'd felt - it was still so real.

_Jax raced into the bedroom, Abel in his arms, flipping the light switch on quickly. "Tara!" he reached out and shook her, startling her out of her deep slumber. _

_Her entire body jerked in response to sound of his voice and sudden flood of light in the room. "Jax?"_

_"It's Abel," he was panicking. She could hear it in his voice. His arms were trembling as he craddled his son. "His...his...breathing." _

_She looked down at the infant, immediately concerned, and moved one hand to his small tummy, feeling the gentle rise and fall. She listened closely. _

_"I'm just going to grab my kit," she said as she moved off the bed._

_"What's wrong with him, Tara? Should we take him to the hospital?" he stood quickly, following her down the hall._

_"He's a little congested," she informed him, placing a gentle, reassuring hand on Jax's arm as she dug around in her kit looking for her stethescope. "Just let me take a listen and we'll figure it out from there."_

_He simply nodded in agreement, looking down at his son. There was no one he trusted more in the world with his sons life than he did her. _

_She continued to dig around her bag, trying to find the sought after item when she glanced at Jax, worry etched on his face. "Don't get ahead of yourself, Jax. Babies become congested all the time. It's usually not something to worry about."_

_"Usually?"_

_"I'm just being cautious because of all that this tough little guy has been through." She finally found the stethescope._

_She gently pushed Jax down to sit on the couch then crouched down infront of them. She placed the medical device on a few different areas of Abel's back and chest, listening carefully. Jax watched her closely, feeling like his heart was about to hammer right out of his chest. _

_The baby was a little fussy, his arms and legs kicking. He wasn't crying, but he was clearly unhappy._

_She smiled at Jax. "Nothing to be concerned about."_

_"You're sure?" He asked. She smiled at him, amused. Her smile made him relax and he exhaled a breath he didn't know he'd been holding in. "Of course you're sure."_

_"Six figures spent on tuition, 8 years of school, and you still doubt me about congestion?" she teased._

_He pulled Abel tighter to his body before leaning forward and pulling her head closer to him with one hand, their foreheads touching, eyes locking. He smiled. "I'm sorry." He pressed a tender kiss to her lips. _

_"You should be, Teller," she smirked. She patted his knee, standing up and placing the stethescope back in her bag._

_"How do we make him feel better?" he asked her quietly, as Abel grabbed his index finger and wrapped his entire hand around it. He smiled at his son tenderly. His first revelation that night was that he knew in that moment, even though he wasn't ready to be a father, he wouldn't miss it for the world. _

_"Steam."_

_His head snapped up and looked at her. "Steam?"_

_She nodded her head. "I'll turn on the shower."_

_He was confused. "My mother put a humidifier in his room."_

_"Does it still have water in it?" _

_Such a basic question and Jax felt awful for not knowing the answer. Silently, he handed Abel to Tara and returned a minute later with an empty tank. _

_Tara saw the frustration on his face and reached out and placed a comforting hand on his arm as he tried to walk past. He stopped in his tracks, silent._

_"It's OK," she said simply._

_"I don't know how to do this," he whispered. He could feel her hand under his chin, gently guiding him to look her in her eyes. His shoulders sagged in defeat. Her free hand traveled down his bare chest and rested over his heart. He nodded his head towards his kutte. "I'm an outlaw, Tara. What the hell do I know about raising a kid?"_

_She smiled. "I've known you my entire life, Jax. You've always been cocky and confident. If you didn't know what you were doing, you acted like you did. And you eventually figured it out. This," she emphasized, tilting her head, her cheek resting atop of Abel's bald head, "is no different."_

_"It's not like he came with a how-to manual, Tara," he said quietly, reaching up to take her hand from his chest, threading his fingers through hers._

_She smirked. "If he did, would you read it?" He smiled a little at her small joke, realizing she was trying to brighten the mood. "Jax, you're brand new at this. All new parents are overwhelmed. You can read all the books, listen to all the advice from well meaning people, but at the end of the day, you have to trust that you'll figure out what works and what doesn't as you go. The small stuff will be trial and error. But the big stuff? The important stuff, like keeping him safe...you've already proven that you are more than capable." He looked at her as if he was about to protest. "His breathing worried you. You were panicking-"_

_"I was not panicking," he smirked. He knew she wasn't buying it. "OK, OK. I was panicking."_

_"You knew to bring him to me-"_

_"But if you hadn't been here-"_

_"You'd have put him in the truck - in the car seat, I might add - and you'd have gotten him to the hospital. You had the primal urge of not letting anything happen to him. Hate to break it to ya, Teller, but that's your Daddy gene kicking in."_

_He couldn't help the smile that spread over his face. "You really think I can do this?"_

_"You're the most capable man I know," she nodded. "And regardless of what the future holds, I'll always be here for the two of you. If you need help, Jax-"_

_"You'll be by my side," he smiled, pulling her and his son close to him. "For the record, Tara..." he pulled back and looked her straight in the eyes, "My future...his future...you're in it. I'm not letting you go. I can't lose you again."_

_She smiled up at him._

_He returned the smile. He took a deep breath and softly said the words he hadn't been able to say to her since she'd the night she'd left Charming when they were 19. "I love you."_

_Her eyes watered, relief flooding over her. "I love you too." It was good to finally hear him say those words again. To know he felt the same._

_His kissed her, nibbling at her bottom lip, but careful not to get too carried away. "I never stopped loving you. I couldn't. I tried. But I just couldn't."_

_She laughed. It was a bitter sweet moment. "I know the feeling. No matter how much time passed, or distance there is between Charming and Chicago, you were always in my heart."_

_His cell phone rang, breaking the moment. He groaned a little. _

_She giggled. "It's OK. I'll get the shower going."_

_Ten minutes later, the humidifier was refilled and once again humming along nicely in Abel's nursery. Jax stood outside the closed door of the bathroom. He could clearly hear the water running and the muffled sound of Tara singing to Abel. He opened the door, and poked his head inside. _

_In the shower stall, Tara stood with Abel, his head on her shoulder, a small smile tugging at his lips as she bounced him up and down slowly. "In the sunlight or the rain, Brightest nights or darkest days, I'll always feel the same way..."_

_Feeling eyes on her, she turned and spotted Jax. She blushed profusely which made him smile even more. He chuckled._

_"You in or out, Teller?" _

_"I'd love to join you in the shower, Darlin', but I think the boy might be a little young to see such a thing."_

_She shook her head, smiling at his still teenage libido. "You're letting the steam out. Either come in, or stay out. But either way, shut the door."_

_"Oh!" He laughed. He entered the bathroom, and shut the door. It was a small room, so it was only a few strides before he was standing next to the shower stall, smiling at her. She looked at him, silently questioning him. "What song were you singing?"_

_She chuckled and shook her head no, embarassed for having been caught.. _

_"Seriously, what song? I don't remember it from my childhood..."_

_She laughed. "Gemma doesn't strike me as the type of woman to sing her kids to sleep."_

_He laughed. "She did teach Thomas and I about guns one night as a bed time story, though."_

_"She did not!" Tara laughed._

_He raised a hand towards the Heavens. "I swear to God! She did!" He loved when she laughed. "So, come on, tell me, what song?"_

_She looked down in embarassment again. "I don't really know any kids songs, so I tried to think of one that would be child appropriate."_

_"How do you not know childrens songs? You work with them all day!"_

_"I specialize in neonatal and perinatal," she reminded him, "not pediatrics."_

_"The kids you work with are lucky to have you," he said honestly. "You're a natural with them."_

_She smiled. "It's hard not to love these little people," she insisted. "They are too cute for words," she said in a baby voice to Abel as she lifted him up slightly above her head and a blew a raspberry on his tummy, much to his delight._

_It was then that Jax's second revelation that night hit him. He'd never been the guy who lived his life wondering "what if." He knew that if he made a choice, he had to live with the fall out, whatever it may be...but now, he wished he'd been sitting beside Tara, on that bus out of Charming all those years ago. _

_If he had, Abel would've been her son. Their son. They'd have made a life as far away from the Samcro and the outlaw world as they could get. They'd have found a nice house in a quiet suburb where the biggest community issue was a dog that barked through the night. A quiet street where he could teach his son how to ride a bike, first with training wheels, then eventually, without the training wheels... Tara would proudly be watching from the front yard as she tended to her flower garden. _

_A front porch swing where he and Tara would sit at the end of a long day, after the kids went to bed, her drinking a glass of wine, him a beer. They'd talk about everything...or nothing at all. Just being there. Together. In love. A family._

_"Jax?" _

_He could see it all so clearly in mind. Abel, and another little boy. Thomas. _

_Tara saw Jax's lips curve in a slight smile. "Daddy's imagination must be in overdrive," she whispered to Abel._

_Jax felt like his heart swelled when he could hear Tara quietly inform him that baby number three was on the way. Both of them sure that this time, a little girl would join her two energetic brothers. Tara would tease him about how his daughter would have him wrapped so tightly around her fingers..._

_"Earth to Jax?" Tara prodded again._

_Finally, he snapped out of his daze when he heard her turn the water off._

_"Done already?" he shook his head, trying to rid himself of the over indulgent fantasy._

_"We've been in here about twenty minutes," she smiled. "The water was starting to cool off."_

_He opened a towel and helped wrap Abel in the soft, freshly laundered cotton before taking his son into his arms. He handed Tara the second clean towel. He couldn't shake the the images from his mind about their perfect would-be life...impulsively, he leaned in and kissed her._

_"What was that for?" she smiled when he pulled back slightly. _

_"For coming back to me...for the second chance. For being you."_

_Without another word, he'd left the bathroom and taken Abel back to the Nursery. He'd sat down in the rocking chair and fed Abel a bottle, then burped him, changed him and rocked him. _

_"He asleep?" Tara asked quietly from the doorway._

_Jax nodded in confirmation and slowly stood up. He gently lay his son down in the crib. Tara reached down and pulled a soft, warm blanket over him. Her hand gently rested on his tiny stomach, once again checking his breathing._

_"Is he good?" he asked, placing a hand on the small of her back._

_"Perfect," she assured him. She felt his hand slide from the her back to her side before finding her arm, and finally, her hand. He gave it a gentle squeeze before looking at her and nodding to the door. _

_On their way out, he checked the water level on the humidifier one last time as she glanced at the baby monitor, making sure it was still turned on. _

_Jax gently guided Tara into the bedroom, quietly shutting the door behind him. _

_"Thank you," he whispered, pulling her body close to him. He cupped the back of her head gently, softly kissing her lips. _

_She immediately responded to his ministrations, opening her mouth and teasing him with her tongue. _

_He moaned deeply as he backed her up towards the bed. When the back of her knees hit the mattress, she nearly toppled over, but Jax's strong arms kept her steady. He gently lowered her down on the bed, the weight of his body settling over her, making her incredibly aware of how he made every single part of her ache..._

_That night, their love making was slow. Tender. Loving. Passionate. Full of promise._

Jax furiously wiped at the single tear that had escaped. The perfect life he wanted. The one he knew deep in his heart they would never have, but tried desperately to make...was gone. The life he led had finally come back to hurt those he loved and vowed to protect with his own life, at all costs. Halfsack was dead, Tara had been held at gun point, then bound and gagged to Abel's rocking chair in the nursery, and Abel...well, Abel was gone.

His eight month old son was gone. He knew that Tara wasn't responsible for anything that had happened, but she blamed herself. There were no words that could console either of them. They had both tried to help one another cope, but words felt empty and hollow with no bouncing baby boy beside them.

He had honestly believed he could keep them both safe. He prayed that Abel was out there somewhere. In the arms of someone kind and gentle. Where he wasn't scared. That was all he could hope for...but Tara...his Tara...she was hurting. As if she had lost her own son.

He knew when he had told her the day before that he was "done", it wouldn't be enough to push her away. That's why he'd jumped at the chance to take Ima to bed. He felt horrible. Using someone, even a porn star who seemed intent on pissing off Tara every chance she got...but he knew she'd come looking for him. Knew she'd see him with Ima. Knew it would be the final straw. She'd told him only a few weeks earlier that cheating was a deal breaker.

The look on her face when she walked into the room had made him want to vomit. He knew he'd hurt her. The look on her face when she saw who he'd done it with...he felt like he should've been nominated for, and won, the Asshole of the Year Award. Maybe even the decade.

Tara loved him inspite of everything. Trusted him with her heart - again. She seemlessly stepped into the role of Mommy and became the one constant and stable presence in his sons life. She went from a single woman, working long hours as a doctor, to a woman who worked those same long hours, who everyone considered to be his "old lady" and the mother to his son, and did medical work for the club when the violence broke out. She didn't ask questions...she was doing everything she could to make it work between them. Because it's what she wanted. What he wanted. What they wanted.

And he had destroyed it all.

The pain and anger of losing his family overwhelmed him. In a fit of rage, he picked up the chair in the living room and threw it, knocking a hole in the drywall. He ripped the nearly nude pictures of biker chicks off the walls, the flimsy, cheap frames breaking. He kicked the large coffee table, flipping it over.

He would've continued his destructive path through the house, but the church bells from a few blocks away that chimed every hour sing-songed thru the stillness of the mess.

He made his way back to their bedroom - his bedroom - to pack a bag. When he opened the dresser drawers and closet, the absence of her items made his heart ache. The house that had finally felt like a home was once again just a shell. It was simply a place to go at the end of the day and lay his head.

As he finished shoving a few more pieces of clothes into his bag, he looked at the pictures he had placed on the mirror. There was a picture of Tara. A picture of Abel. A picture Tara and Abel together. A picture of all three of them, as a family, together at the park...he quickly took down the pictures and put them in his bag.

Even if he didn't have them anymore, if he couldn't have his family, no one could take away their beautiful memories.

**End of Chapter 1. If you think it's worth continuing, please let me know! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the great reviews to the first chapter! It really made me happy to see that people were responding well to this story that I have rolling around in my head. The more I think about the story itself, the more I realize I would like to take a few liberties with what happened on the show. All the big stuff will be the same, but I just want to tweak a few things…hope everyone is OK with that!

The end of the chapter is actually scenes from the show, but I added some bits and pieces of what I feel like the characters would've been thinking/feeling. So MAJOR DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. This is just my take on the fabulous creations of what others put forth.

Chapter 2

Tara sat in the small chapel inside St. Thomas Hospital. One hand rested on her stomach, the other rubbed her forehead as if she were trying to rid herself of the tension headache that had seemed to take up permanent residence since Cameron Hayes had burst into Jax's house, killed Half-Sack and kidnapped Abel.

The tears that she refused to shed when packing up her belongings at Jax's were slowly making their way down her cheeks, leaving mascara tracks in their wake.

She stood up slowly, her legs wobbly as she made her way to the altar. She wasn't particularly religious, but she was so confused. She needed guidance.

"I never thought I'd be in this situation again, you know?" she pondered to whatever Greater Power may be listening. "Pregnant. Alone." Her hand gently rested on her tummy. "I love this baby. I love its father." Tears clouded her vision and she was suddenly angry. "I thought he loved me," she sobbed.

Visions of that morning flooded her and all she could see was Ima standing in the doorway of Jax's bathroom at the clubhouse, smirking at her.

She grabbed a bible that was nearby and threw it. It landed with a loud thump that seemed to echo in the small space. She reached for the waste basket and promptly emptied the contents of her stomach. Between the morning sickness, stress and emotional roller coaster that had been their lives for the last few weeks, she was exhausted.

She felt a hand on the small of her back, rubbing soothing circles and she looked over into Jax's concerned eyes. "Are you OK?" he whispered almost inaudibly.

His heart sunk when he saw her eyes steel right before him.

She quickly stood up to move away but a wave of dizziness washed over her and she swayed. Jax's arms reached out to steady her but she quickly removed herself from his protective arms.

"Tara-"

"Don't," she whispered, close to breaking down. "Just don't touch me, Teller."

His shoulders sagged. "I never wanted to hurt you."

She scoffed. "You are so full of shit!" She was too angry to care that she'd just cursed in a house of worship. She wiped furiously at the tears that would not stop pouring out of her eyes. "Only a few weeks ago I told you that it would kill me if I knew you were sleeping with other women and-"

"I wasn't!" He argued.

"YOU DID LAST NIGHT!" She screamed. A sob escaped her lips and she was emotionally drained. She moved to the end of the pew and sat down slowly. Her elbows rested on her knees and she held her head in her hands, looking at the floor. "I hate this."

"You mean you hate me," Jax softly corrected. He sighed. "I don't blame you." _I hate me too,_ he thought.

"I wish it were that simple," she sniffed. "It would make it much easier." She leaned back and wrapped her arms around herself. "I blame myself." She choked back another sob. "He's gone because of me. They're both gone because I couldn't stop the Irishman."

"It's on me, Tara," Jax insisted. "It's my life. Everything I touch is ruined."

"Every single night, I relive it. I close my eyes and it's all I see. The gun. The knife. Kip, bleeding all over the floor. The look in his eyes as he took his last breath." She wiped at her tears, sniffling. "Abel was fussing when that asshole took him out of the carrier. He looked at me, his little hand reaching out and I couldn't move." She tried to catch her breath, but was having trouble. "Oh, God, I couldn't move. Why couldn't I move?...Abel is completely innocent in all this….he should've taken me."

Jax wiped a tear that was falling down his face. "No. He shouldn't have taken you. Or Abel. This isn't your fault, Tara."

"YES IT IS!" she shouted again.

"NO!" He buried his face in his hands before sliding over on the pew to sit nearer to her. He left enough space so he didn't crowd her, but close enough so he could smell the scent of her shampoo. "After my mother broke your nose, you told me that you couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. To Abel and to us. I showed you my Dad's manuscript. And I promised you that I was going to get us out of all of the things you were afraid of. _I promised._" He shook his head. "I failed you both. That's on me. All of this is on me. This is my burden. Not yours."

The anger bubbled to the surface again. "Jesus, Jax! This is where we've always run into our problems!" She stood up, this time with no dizziness, and started to pace. "There are," she looked at him sadly and corrected herself, "were. There _were_ two people in our relationship. The burden isn't all on you. It's mine to share." She looked down at her shoes. "He may not be my son. You may not be my family," she spat out, the hurt of his words to her in his grandfather's basement evident, "but I love him as if he's mine." She headed towards the doors that led back into the Hospital. "How could I not love him, Jax? He's a part of you."

"I know you love him," he admitted. "And he loves you. You're the only mother he's ever known."

Tara was in the OR when he born. She was the only surgeon who was there during each and every one of the procedures he underwent. She was the first person to change him. To bathe him. Even the first who held him. She was the woman who saved his son and then put him in his arms for the first time….He had overheard the medical staff one night talking about how she had sat beside the incubator long after her shift had ended, just watching over him. He knew she was more of a mother to Abel than Wendy could ever be. She had put her own addiction and needs before Abel. With Tara, he knew the instinct to love and protect his son was primal. She didn't think about loving him. She just did it.

"I knew it was going to get a lot worse before it got better," he sighed.

"You warned me," she reminded him, her hand on the door handle, her head resting on the cool, thick wood of the chapel doors.

"I should've told you to pack a bag and sent you and Abel someplace safe."

"And I should've insisted on the same thing, Jax. But I didn't. Neither of us thought that we'd end up here, with Abel only God knows where." Her pager went off and she looked at the screen. She sighed then opened the chapel door. "Good luck, Jax."

He stood up and quickly followed her out of the chapel and into the hospital hallway.

"Tara?" He called after her.

She stopped and slowly turned around and looked at him.

He didn't know what to say. He had hurt her. He didn't deserve her. He loved her too much to let her lose herself inside his world – the world she ran from when they were 19. She'd broken his heart and taken the pieces with her. His heart wasn't whole again until she came back into his life…He knew that as much as he didn't want too, he could live the rest of his life with a broken heart if it meant she'd be safe. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah," she nodded tearfully. "Me too."

"I'm not really sure what to do next, Tara," he admitted.

"Dr. Knowles?" a male nurse approached her.

She cleared her throat, trying to sound professional. "Yes?"

"This just came for you. The man who delivered it said that it was urgent you get it right away."

"Thank you," she said as she accepted the legal sized envelope that was simply addressed to 'Dr. Knowles.' The male nurse nodded and walked away. She opened the envelope and looked at Jax. She noticed Juice and Opie approaching him from behind. She took a few steps forward and handed him the envelope.

"You go find _your_ son," she said simply. "He needs his father. Goodbye, Jax."

He silently watched her walk away. The finality of her goodbye felt like a bullet to his heart. A bullet he knew he more than deserved.

"Don't worry, bro," Opie slapped his best friend on the back. "I'll make sure Lyla keeps an eye on her."

Jax nodded silently in thanks before he looked down at the envelope in his hands. He opened the flap to look at the contents. Inside was a healthy amount of cash and note, thanking them for the HIV/AIDS medicines.

He felt like an even bigger piece of shit than he thought possible. He had blamed the guy Tara had found for the HIV drugs on being the cause of the raid at Samcrow. Now he knew that it was someone else entirely. No way would a person report them for dealing illegal scripts then turn around and pay them this much money the very next day.

* * *

A few minutes later, outside in the parking lot of St. Thomas, his cell phone rang. Sighing, wondering what complication had risen this time, he pulled the phone from his pocket. He couldn't help the small amount of hope of that coursed through his veins when he saw Tara's name illuminated on the display.

"Hey," he said softly, not wanting to leave on bad terms.

"_It's mom. You at the hospital?"_

His brow furrowed in confusion, wondering what was going on. "Yeah. You Okay?"

"_Just listen. Meet me outside the service entrance. I'll be down in a few minutes."_

"What?" he was angry. This was not part of the plan.

"_Just go! Now!"_

The line went dead. Jax felt his blood pressure spiking. Whatever his mother had up her sleeve, Jax knew she'd involved Tara. Pulled her deeper into the life he was trying desperately to free her from.

"What's the problem?" Clay asked.

"My mother." He started heading towards the tow truck then turned around to Clay and Tig. "C'mon!"

* * *

"I, uh, packed enough meds for a few weeks, but if you're there longer, you'll have to find a way to fill the prescription," Tara rattled off to Gemma as they waited for the elevator.

Gemma nodded. "Yeah, I will."

"This elevator takes you down to the service level," she said. She held out a key card, "Key card will get you out the back door."

Gemma smiled, though it went unnoticed by Tara. She had only asked for Tara's help creating a distraction so she could slip out of the hospital. But the young woman had gone above and beyond, making her escape much easier and faster.

Tara dug into the pocket of her jeans. "Here's some cash from my pocket. It's not much," she slipped the handful of cash, mostly smaller bills, into the white lab coat that belonged to her that Gemma was now wearing. "My car is in the service lot. If you need it." She tossed the keys into the same pocket as the cash."

"Not sure the Feds are going to believe I did this at gun point," Gemma said softly.

"You may as well have," Tara answered. Truth be told, Tara knew she would've helped Gemma escape to help find Abel even if she hadn't known about the baby and used that as blackmail material.

"And I'll keep my promise. No one will know about that baby."

"It's my decision, Gemma," she blinked back the tears that she could feel welling up.

"What I suggest is you wait 'til Jax gets back. Look into Abel's eyes before you do anything," she said softly. Woman to woman.

Tara looked down. Uncertainty was all she felt. She had come to the conclusion that she was ready to be a mother – to Abel, to this new baby – but she needed Jax. Without him, she didn't think she could do it. Nothing in her life made sense without him. And he'd made it perfectly clear that they couldn't be together.

If she told him about the baby, would he stay out of obligation? Would he resent her? Their child? She couldn't handle that thought, either…

The intercom buzzed through the hospital halls. _"Securtity. Code seven. Therapy wing."_

"I better go," Tara said, unable to look Gemma in the eyes. The plan was in motion. Even if she had wanted to, it was too late to turn back.

Gemma reacted by pulling the young woman into a tight embrace. Tara wrapped her arms around Gemma and they stood there for a moment. As if they were drawing strength from one another. Silently wishing each other luck.

The elevator dinged, signalling it's arrival to the floor.

Gemma quickly pulled back. "I'll be back in week," she promised.

Tara nodded her head slightly. "Yeah," she breathed.

Gemma moved into the elevator and Tara walked away, putting some distance between them. Hoping Gemma was right. Praying that she, Jax, Abel and the rest of Sam Crow would be home soon. In one piece.

Just before the elevator doors closed, Tara turned back and shared one last look with Gemma. It had to work. It just had too.

Little did either of them know, but they had an ally in Margaret Murphy.

* * *

Jax pulled over the tow truck in the parking lot behind Tig who was driving Tara's Cutlass.

"C'mon, c'mon," Tig said, "Unser must've called this in. We're not going to make it out of Charming. They're lookin' for the truck. You guys take the Cutlass and go to the plane."

"No!" Jax was adamant. "We need you with us, bro!"

Tig looked at Jax. "You need your mom more. Now, I'll just back track down through town and lead them up the 18."

They all knew they were out of time. This was it.

"Go!" Tig insisted.

Jax made a move for Tara's car. "Shit. C'mon!"

He and Clay headed for the car while Gemma quickly kissed Tig in thanks.

"Alright!" Tig hollered over to the car. "Be safe!" He hopped into the drivers seat and looked over. "Jax! Get your boy!"

Jax nodded in agreement. "Keep an eye on Tara!" He shouted back. "She's gonna need it!" he glanced at his mother, pissed.

Tig nodded once in affirmation that he would make sure Tara had help if Charming PD or the Feds took issue with her version of events that led to Gemma's escape from custody.

_Those chicks really are going to be the death of me, _Tig thought as he turned left back on to main street. Glancing in the rearview, he noticed flashing lights behind him. "Here we go!" He chuckled, punching on the gas cause a dark, nearly black, exhaust to spew from the tail pipe.

* * *

End of chapter 2. Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I love opening my email and seeing the responses!

Thank you to Kurt Sutter and FX as well as all the actors, writers and anyone else who is involved with this show. My addiction is unhealthy, but I wouldn't change it for the world!

Chapter 3

Jax adjusted his position on the narrow bench beneath him. He hated flying. There was something about the lack of control that unnerved him. But he couldn't help but wish they were flying commercial. Flying coach seemed like one hell of an upgrade.

Someone kicked his foot. He looked up.

Chibs was standing there, holding out a bottle of water for Jax. "I guess Oswald didn't have enough notice to install a bar."

"Guess not," Jax agreed, taking the bottle from Chibs as the older man sat down on his left.

"I'd settle for a hot cup of coffee," Juice chimed in, taking a seat on Jax's right. He handed Jax a medium sized ziplock bag.

"What's this?" Jax asked.

"The girls put together some essentials for the trip." Juice looked over at Jax. "Actually, it wasn't the girls. It was just Tara."

"Tara?" Jax asked, wondering when she had time to do anything like putting together a care package for the flight.

"Yeah. She's like a mini-Gemma…only sweet," Juice chuckled. "Like an hour and a half before we took off, she showed up at the clubhouse with bags of groceries," he nodded towards the ziplock bag he'd handed Jax. "When she walked in, she asked Chucky and some of the Crow Eaters to put together these bags. Cheese, chips, pretzels, cookies…you know, stuff that travels well. She bought some subs and veggies for us too, but Gemma told me to leave those alone. She said those are for dinner."

"I hauled the water bottles out of her trunk, and lugged them onto the plane," Chibs acknowledged. "Oswald wasn't exactly thinking about packing some provisions for us for the flight."

"I doubt I'd be thinking about comforts for guys who were skipping out of town if I were the one who fronted the money for their bail," Jax answered.

Chibs and Juice nodded in agreement.

"Well, I'm glad Tara was thinking," Chibs said. "Even if this were a commercial flight, it'd be long and miserable. At least we've got some food and water."

"And these," Opie said triumphantly as he approached his best friend and two other brothers, handing them each a heavy item.

"Sweet!" Juice smiled, gratefully opening the large heavy blanket and covering his legs.

"She's a good one, Jackie," Chibs stood up and wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and back. "When we get home with Abel, you better make things right." And with that, he walked away.

Opie sat down in the space that Chibs had just vacated. "He's right, man."

Jax looked over and saw Juice bobbing his head in agreement.

"You don't get it," Jax muttered quietly. "She's better than this. She's better than what I can give her."

"_I_ don't get it?" Opie scoffed.

Jax mentally kicked himself. Of course Opie understood it.

"Wake the fuck up, man!" Opie hissed. "Donna and Tara are the exact same. Hell! They were best friends! When I pushed for a divorce because I was locked up, told her the marriage was a joke, she stayed. She knew I was lying. She knew that I loved her as much as she loved me." He looked down at the floor, rolling a small rock beneath his shoe. "After Stahl took us in the middle of the night, tried to make me rat…then just made me look like a rat, I asked her why she stayed. After all the shit that I brought into our lives, inflicted on her and the kids…" he took a shaky breath, "she told me about something she and Tara talked about when we were kids."

"What did they talk about?" he couldn't help his curiosity.

"She told me that when they were kids, they both dreamed about falling in love. But not a fairy tale kind of love." He looked at Jax and noticed that he and Juice were waiting for him to continue. He chuckled. "They wanted to fight."

"Huh?" Juice scratched his head in confusion. "Just when I think I'm starting to figure out the fairer sex, I learn something new and I'm back to square one."

Jax knew exactly what Opie meant. He softly answered Juice. "It's about being able to let go completely, knowing you're safe. That the other person will be there to help pick up the pieces."

"Exactly," Opie sighed, leaning back against the cold wall. He started to laugh. "When we were on our honeymoon, Donna joked that since she owned me, as my old lady, she'd never have to hide her crazy again."

"I can't imagine Donna saying something like that," Juice chuckled.

Jax smiled. "That was Donna, though. She'd just say something, out of the blue, that would throw you for a loop."

"She kept me on my toes," Opie smiled wistfully. "I'm sorry you didn't get to know her better," he said to Juice. "I know if she'd have given you a chance, she'd have loved you."

Juice smiled. He wished he'd gotten to know Donna better. He had only been living in California as a Samcrow Prospect for a few months when Opie was arrested and sent away for 5 years. Donna had been so upset, not that anyone could blame her, that she stopped coming around the club. He had been assigned to protect her and the kids a few times, but aside from polite offerings of coffee, tea or water and some food, their interactions were minimal at best.

Juice's stomach grumbled. "I think I'm gonna go see how much longer it'll be before Gemma lets us chow down on those subs."

Jax and Opie nodded in acknowledgement as Juice wandered off.

"They kept in touch, you know."

Jax nodded again. "I couldn't imagine the two of them going a day without talking."

"She asked about you for the longest time," he said again.

"Until eventually she didn't," Jax swallowed around the lump in throat.

Opie sighed. "She only stopped asking about you when Donna told her the truth."

"Truth?"

"My wife cried every night for a month," Opie sighed. "It was one of the few times where I couldn't take away her pain. Tara hated leaving you behind, Jax."

"She didn't have to," he said quickly. But even he knew that was a lie. And he knew Opie would call him out on it.

"Yes. She did." He shook his head. "Tara couldn't stay. We all knew that. She was too smart for a community college."

"So was Donna," Jax argued.

"Yeah, she was. But Donna got pregnant pretty quick and we knew we needed our families. She was content to raise our kids in a sleepy little town. She was satisfied with working at the bank. Between the two of us, we could pay our bills, keep food on the table and sock away a little bit of money every month…but we all know that wouldn't have satisfied Tara. It wouldn't have been a challenge for her. That's why when Tara called one night and said she wanted to come home, Donna knew she had to tell her the truth."

"What truth?"

_Just like a band-aide. Rip it off quickly, _ Opie thought. "That you had become a man-slut. One of the biggest in the history of Samcrow." Jax flinched. "Donna knew that you hadn't stopped loving Tara. But she also knew that if Tara came home, you wouldn't be strong enough to tell her to tell her to go back school. And that you'd end up hating yourself because she loved you so much she'd be willing to give up on her dream. And that she'd end up regretting giving up on that dream." He paused for a minute, not wanting his words to sound harsh, but not sure if there was a way to sugar-coat it either. "Donna knew that if Tara believed you'd moved on, she could focus on her future and all of the possibilities that she'd dreamed of."

Jax nodded his head sadly, knowing it was all true. Tara had been his first…everything. And he'd believed she'd be his only. But then she left. For two months, he waited for her to come home.

And every day, he'd approach Gemma either in the office at TM or in her kitchen at home, needing to talk. To tell her that yes, the MC was his family, but so was Tara. But she wasn't just his family the way the rest of the MC was…she was also his heart. But Gemma always seemed to know what he was about to say. As a pre-emptive strike, she'd talk about the MC and how crazy things were…with the Niners, with the Mexican's, with the Irish, with …whoever. He knew his mother was manipulating him simply so he wouldn't pack up and leave.

"I almost left with her," Jax said softly. "I had my bags packed. I was at the bus station. I was leaving."

"I know."

"How?"

He chuckled. "I'm your best friend, Jax. When Donna told me that Tara was leaving with or without you, I knew it would take some massive shit storm that kept you from leaving."

And it had been a massive shit storm. Clay called just as he was about to purchase his ticket. There was a lead on the whereabouts of the man who'd been driving the 18-wheeler that took out his old man a few years earlier. Even though it had been ruled an accident, the MC had insisted on revenge against the driver of the truck. But shortly after giving his statement to police, he'd pretty much disappeared into thin air.

The lead, of course, had never panned out. The driver had never been found. But he and the rest of the MC had chased that ghost for months after the so-called lead. When the supposed trail had gone cold, Tara had been gone for nearly 8 months. He hadn't heard a word from her.

That didn't mean he hadn't kept tabs on her though. Opie would casually mention her name while they were cleaning up the garage after business hours had ended, letting him know how she was doing. When he saw Donna, he would just come out and ask how she was. She would give him a reassuring smile, a pat on the arm, maybe a squeeze of the hand and tell him that she was good. She was doing well in school and how her teachers loved her. None of it surprised him, but it still made him happy to hear the confirmation.

When things were quiet in Charming for a few days, he'd get on his Harley and just drive. Without making a conscious decision, he'd end up navigating the city streets of San Diego. He'd drive around the campus, just hoping that he'd spot her in the crowd.

He'd stopped at one of the University bars for a quick bite to eat late one afternoon before he had to head home. As he sat in a booth, he just watched the people around him. Some were sitting at tables alone, books spread out in front of them, furiously scribbling notes, or highlighting something important as they ate a quick bite. Others were sitting with friends, laughing and joking, without a care in the world. All of their futures looked bright. They were setting their own course, making their own choices. He'd always known she'd made the right decision to leave Charming, but seeing it all for himself felt like a knife in his heart. Her future was bright. His was bleak. She had gotten a scholarship. He had gotten scars as bullets grazed his body. As much as they loved each other, their lives simply were not compatible. His brain knew it, but his heart just didn't want to listen.

Before leaving, he wandered down a narrow, dark hallway leading to the washrooms. An 8x10 picture of her hung on the wall under a hand carved sign that said 'employee of the month.' He stood there for a while, just looking at her. A small smile graced her lips. He smiled, knowing that the attention of being 'Employee of the Month' would've embarrassed her to no end.

A woman, he believed to be in her mid thirties, approached him after she spied him looking at the picture for just a little too long.

"_You lost?" she asked_

"_Uh, no," he shook his head. "She's my Old La-uh," he caught himself. "She's an old friend. We went to High School together. Lost touch shortly after graduation."_

"_Uh huh," she was clearly skeptical. "Name?"_

_He cocked his head towards the picture. "Tara Knowles." He knew she was asking for his name._

"_Nice Reaper," she commented, tilting her head the side. "Are you a new Prospect?" she noted the shock that crossed his face. It was then that she recognized him. "You're a Patched Member."_

_He looked around. When he was satisfied that no one was listening, he asked "who are you?"_

"_Peter Loughlin is my Ball and Chain," she said casually. She turned around and lifted up the back of her shirt to expose her lower back. The same tattoo that graced Tara's back, in the same place, stared back at him. "You must be from Charming. Based on your age, and the fact that you're here, I'd take a wild guess and say you're Jax Teller." He nodded in affirmation. She motioned towards a door off to the side, 'Manager's office' was written across a tacky nameplate. "Come in."_

"_Peter Loughlin, as in the VP of SamSan?" he took a seat in the office chair across from her. _

"_The one and only," she nodded her head. "Mr. Teller-"_

"_Call me Jax," he insisted._

_She nodded. "Lori," she extended her hand and they were officially introduced. "I see it in your eyes. How much you love her."_

"_I do," he agreed softly. _

_She smiled sadly. "I never told Tara about my Ball and Chain. It's not really a widely known fact around these parts about who or what the MC really is. SamSan flies under the radar pretty successfully."_

"_Why wouldn't you tell Tara who you are?" _

"_At first it was because I didn't know how she left Charming. Was she on good terms with the Sons or was she fearful for her life?" Lori pressed her lips together. "When I realized she wasn't running from the Sons in fear, the right moment to tell her just never presented itself….I was young, just like Tara, when I fell in love with Peter. It was all consuming, crazy, have-to-be-with-you-every-minute-or-I'm-going-to-lose-my-mind kind of love. It was overwhelming. When you're teenagers, you feel like nothing can touch you. You feel like love is enough to get by. But then reality sets in. As much as you want to believe love is enough, you know it's not. Each person has to find their path in life. If one person settles on being something they aren't thrilled with, it does a disservice to the both them and the relationship."_

"_Why are you telling me this?" Jax asked quietly._

"_Just like Tara, I packed my bags and I left. Peter knew the life he wanted from the time he was a kid. In high school, he was already on the path to becoming a part of the MC. I, on the other hand, knew there was a huge world just waiting for me to discover. I didn't know what I wanted, but I knew for damn sure I wasn't going to figure it out by staying." She grabbed a picture frame that sat on her desk and stared at it for a minute. "It took me four years to figure out that I wanted to be a Therapist. After a few weeks of looking into schools and programs, and making I don't know how many pro-con lists, I was on my way back here. Within a few days of my home coming, Peter and I bumped into each other. We hadn't spoken since the day that I left. Not that we parted on bad terms and didn't want to talk…we just hadn't spoken because the thought of saying goodbye again was just too much," she wiped at a few tears that were rolling down her cheeks. "When we bumped into each other, it was like no time had passed. And I saw that the boy that I had fallen in love with had become the man that I knew he'd be. I still loved him. Faults and all." She offered a crooked smile. "I'm sorry. I know that you didn't expect to get my life story. I just….I look at Tara, and I see me when I was her age. I see a girl who needs to find her own way in life."_

"_I agree," Jax said firmly. "I don't want Tara to make a decision that she'll regret. I know she needs to be here."_

_Lori smiled again. "Jax, between you and I, I think you're a sweet guy who means well. But seeing Tara will only hurt her. I think if she looked into your eyes and felt even a fraction of the love I see shining in your eyes for her…" She trailed off._

"_What?" he sighed. _

"_I think she'd run back to her dorm, pack her bags and be on the first bus back to Charming. She's told me about how she misses her boyfriend from back home. Obviously, that's you. But her seeing you would just undermine everything that she has accomplished. Jax, she's on the Dean's List." She noted how his eyes sparkled with pride. "There's no doubt in my mind, or in the minds of everyone around this University that your girl is going to be one of the brightest future doctors this country has ever seen."_

_He nodded, a tear finally rolling down his cheek. He wiped it away furiously. He hated crying. Especially in front of people he didn't know. "I just got on my bike and drove. Didn't realize where I was going." He chuckled. "Then I was here. Like a magnetic force was pulling me in. It's beyond explanation. Beyond logic, even."_

"_No," she said firmly. "That's love."_

_He let out a shaky breath, the tears streaming down his face faster. "How do I stop? How do I let her go when I don't want too?"_

_Tears cascaded down her own cheeks. "It'll happen if and when the time is right." She noted his confused look and chuckled again. "Here," she handed him the picture frame she had been holding for a few moments._

"_Is this Peter?" Jax asked. Obviously, the woman was Lori._

"_Yeah, it is." She grabbed a tissue and dabbed at her eyes. She placed the tissue box on her desk for Jax to grab some if he needed. "This was taken six weeks after I came home. Like I told you, I never stopped loving him. As it turns out, he never stopped loving me either." She smiled wistfully at the memories of that day. "He surprised me that afternoon with a ring."_

"_Home for six weeks and he proposed?"_

_She nodded. "Oh yeah." She smiled. "We knew it was fast, but we knew it was right. He was and always would be my world. I said yes, of course. Then he told me he had another surprise for me. Our closest family and friends were just down the beach for a celebratory bonfire. His best friend started teasing him about how he was so sure I would say yes. I had assumed that it would turn into the typical MC, Biker Bad-Ass, Macho whatever," she laughed, then bit her lip, "but he kept surprising me. Our engagement was incredibly short-lived. We ended up getting married there that night."_

_Jax smiled warmly and set down the picture she had handed to him and took a look at a few other pictures that adorned the walls. "Are those your kids?"_

"_Yeah, we got four of 'em. Our oldest son, Mark, is almost 10. Our second son, Sean, is 6 and our twin daughters, Emily and Isabella just turned 2 last week."_

"_They must keep you two very busy," he observed._

"_Definitely," she agreed. "But it's fate. I honestly believe that we were meant to spend those four years apart from each other. We needed to figure out who we were, individually. If we hadn't done that, we wouldn't have this life that we have today. It's possible that if I had stayed, we'd have gotten married and had kids. But those kids wouldn't be these kids," she nodded towards the pictures on the wall. "And I might not be the woman who is talking to you today. I could be a miserable bitch wondering what my life could've been like if I had left when I had the chance. I know what the world has to offer. And I know now beyond the shadow of a doubt that this is where I'm supposed to be."_

"_So you're saying that if Tara and I are meant to be, like you and Peter are meant to be, fate will bring us back together?" he asked._

_She nodded. "If it's meant to be, it'll be." _

"_Can I ask you a question?" She motioned for him to continue. "If you wanted to be a Therapist, how did you become a manager at a bar?"_

_She laughed. "There's a saying that when you make plans, God laughs. During my first semester of classes, we found out we were pregnant. Mark was the best surprise of our lives. But being a pregnant student and then a new mother was difficult so my studies suffered. We agreed that I needed to lighten my course load, which meant prolonging my life as a student. I took a job here as a waitress, then worked behind the bar…let me tell ya, there are a lot of drunk people with some serious shit to be worked out. I wasn't a licensed Therapist, but what I had learned came in handy…made some pretty good tips," she laughed again. "I still tend bar when we're understaffed or it's a busy night…but I worked my way up to Manager. It's decent money. It's legit so I can pay for classes without too much hassle. I'll have all the needed credits for my degree at the end of this semester." Her smile was proud._

"_That's great," he smiled back at her, genuinely happy._

"_Took a lot longer than what I thought it would, took a few detours, but I can honestly say, I'm beyond happy with my life."_

"_That's all I want for Tara," he said softly. "Will you do me a favour and keep an eye on her? If she ever needs help, let me know?"_

"_Yeah," she agreed. "I can definitely do that."_

"_Thank you," he said softly as he stood up. _

"Eat something, baby," Gemma's voice broke him out of his memories.

He took the Ham and Cheese sub that his mother was holding out to him. "Thanks," he mumbled. "How're you feeling?" As angry as he still was for her getting Tara more involved than ever, she was still his mother with ticker trouble.

"Pretty good, considering," she said lightly. "Tara got me the good stuff."

"I bet she did," he smirked.

"When you're finished, get some rest, Jackson," she softly ordered. "You need to be rested before you go charging in to rescue your son."

"I will mom," he agreed. He stood up and pulled his mother into an embrace, startling her. "I love you."

"I love you too, kid," she told him. "To the moon and back."

He smiled. "We're gonna have to start saying that to Abel."

"Definitely."

End of Chapter 3.

Reviews are always appreciated!

I had planned for some Tara in this chapter, but this just sort of poured out of me. Next chapter will definitely be Tara though!


	4. Chapter 4

I appreciated every review, follow, alert, et cetra that come my way with this story! You have no idea how nice it is to see/hear what people thing. It inspires me. :)

Sorry for the long delay in getting this chapter out. Life has been crazy and to top it off, I decided on Monday that I'm going to Vegas (leaving on Friday) for 6 days…apparently I thrive on sending my life into complete and utter chaos! LOL!

* * *

Tara sat behind the desk in the TM Office. She could hear Tig and Kozik bickering in the garage as she tried to focus on the paperwork in front of her.

"Tara?" Piney called from the doorway.

She looked up at him quickly, and regretted it immediately. The room started to spin again. Even though she was seated, she was dizzy and nauseous. No amount of saltines had helped the morning sickness.

"You OK?" he asked, stepping forward to the edge of the desk.

She pasted on a small smile. "Yeah. Just not sleeping too well."

Piney nodded, but knew she was lying.

She took a deep breath, hoping to quell the urge to reach for the garbage can and empty the small amount of food she'd so far managed to keep down since she'd last eaten. "What can I do for you?"

"Brad needs to know when the parts Gemma specially ordered for the Civic will be in."

"Oh, yeah, I saw that a minute ago," she started shuffling papers around on the desk, trying to find it again. She sighed in irritation. "This place really needs an organization system."

Piney looked around the office at the clutter then out to the garage, which was a mess. "Can't argue with that."

"Here it is," she looked it over, scanning the invoice. "Parts are back ordered. Looks like it'll be at least another week. Possibly longer."

"Great," he grumbled. "The asshole owner wants to take it to the Desert Race Wars in a couple of weeks. He's gonna be up our asses about the delay. Rich kids and their God damned problems…if only my life were that simple!"

Tara smiled somewhat sympathetically. "Yeah. I know what you mean."

"You sure you're OK? I know the last few months have been difficult…Jax wanting to go Nomad, the stuff with Gemma…then Abel."

She shrugged. "I knew what I was getting into."

"Doesn't make living through this shit easy," he pointed out.

She swallowed around the lump in her throat. "Well, Jax doesn't want me around anymore so I guess I won't have to worry about it for long."

Piney sat down in the chair across from her. "He loves you, Darlin'."

"He's got a funny way of showing it," she fumed. She grabbed a file from the lower drawer then angrily threw it down on the top of the desk. She stood up and walked over to the window, glancing out at the TM parking lot that was bathed in sunlight. "I hate this. I hate the danger. I hate the secrets and the half truths. I hate the double standard. If a man even glances my way, he's infuriated." Piney chuckled. "But when a woman looks at him and likes what she sees? He puffs out his friggin' chest!" She looked over at Piney…"And those God Damned Crow Eaters who act like I don't exist? I'd be nice if they just backed right off!" She could feel her blood pressure rising. "And then there's Ima," the thought of that bitch made her blood boil and stomach churn.

"Sit down, Doc," Piney instructed, noting that the she had turned pale.

"I need air," she said, holding on to the wall for support, as she made her way to the door.

The warm California air felt glorious as the breeze gently swept over her.

"Jax fucked up. You know it. I know it. He knows it. I think everyone knows it." Piney placed a hand on her shoulder trying to reassure her.

"He did it deliberately," she whispered. "He knew cheating was a deal breaker for me." Piney nodded, but stayed quiet. "I can't live like that. I know that there'll be times in the middle of the night where he'll have to take off and deal with club business. I can deal with that. He'll have people there to back him up and make sure he comes home to us safely. Because of that, I can share him with the club. But I can't, and won't, share him."

He was about to say something when he noticed Tara's gaze turn to steel. He looked out into the parking lot and saw a small, white compact car parking. A few seconds later, a slender blond haired woman appeared and started making her way into the Club House.

"That bitch!" Tara fumed. Over come with rage in her veins, she quickly started making her way from the opposite, far end of the parking lot towards. She could vaguely hear Piney calling after her, trying to stop her.

She could hear the blood rushing through her body when she stepped into the clubhouse. She waited a second for her vision to adjust from the natural light of the outside into the dark interior of the clubhouse that was lit with only artificial incandescent bulbs.

"Where is she?" Her voice was low. She sounded far more in-control than she felt.

Tig and Kozik, who had moved their bickering from the garage to the bar in the Clubhouse, turned their attention to the brunette. But neither man said a word.

"Where is she?" Tara repeated.

"Any of you Tigers seen my bra lyin' around here?" She looked around the main room of the Club House, searching for the bright colors on her zebra print bra.

"You mean that fugly pink and purple thing?" Tara asked.

Ima's head snapped over to where Tara stood. She smirked. "The one and only. Think Jax broke the clasp when he ripped it off me."

Tara took a few strides forward and Tig quickly stood up to place himself between the two women. Any other situation and he would've sat back and watched the cat fight. But since he spent time with Tara at Gemma's Dad's place, he'd grown fond of her. He felt bad that she had witnessed Abel's kidnapping and Half Sack's death. He also saw how affected she was when she'd killed Nate's care-aid to protect Gemma. Of course, the fact that she'd bailed him out and helped arrange to get his bike out of impound after his license had been suspended didn't hurt either.

Tara placed a hand on his arm and gently pushed on it, silently telling him he needed to move out of her way. He sighed and after a moment, did as she silently asked.

She crossed her arms over her chest and shifted her weight to one leg. "You have some nerve coming back here."

Ima chuckled. "Last time I was here, I had an invitation."

"It expired." Her tone left no question of just how serious she was.

"'Til next time," the blond chirped, clearly in the mood to press Tara's buttons.

It was Tara's turn to smirk. She walked forward, her left shoulder harshly bumping into Ima's right shoulder, causing the Porn Slut to stumble.

She walked behind the bar and located something on the shelf. "This what you're looking for?"

"That's it," Ima said, stepping towards the bar. "The animal print was a real turn on for him. I guess it'd been a while since he was fucked good."

Tara snickered. "I can take care of his needs and then some. And, at least when mine comes off," she held the bra up to emphasize her point, "he doesn't think it's false advertising." She smiled. "How much padding is in this thing anyway?"

Ima's smirk turned into a frown as she tried to grab the bra out of Tara's grasp.

Tara was faster. She took a step back and inspected the clasp carefully. "The clasp is fine. Seems brand new to me. Guess it wasn't as much of a turn on as you thought. Though, I guess, I can understand why."

"Oh, and why's that?" Ima hissed.

Tara stepped forward again, her hands now flat on counter that separated the two women. "You wouldn't know real passion if it slapped you across the face. The men that you have sex with? They aren't with you because they want you…you're their job! They're being paid. You're a low-rent cunt, Ima."

Piney was shocked to hear Tara, a woman he'd known since she was a quiet, shy little girl, speak in such vulgar terms. Being a member of an MC, he was no prude…but Tara? He never imaged such words would pass her lips.

Tig stood off to the side, chucking at Ima's expression. Her mouth was hanging open in shock. Kozik was amused.

Her eyes narrowed as she continued on. "I'll make sure Jax knows exactly where his dick is and is not allowed. He'll be punished appropriately for his little…" she looked Ima up and down with disgust, "indiscretion."

"You own him now?" Ima finally retorted.

Tara smirked. "He calls me his Old Lady, doesn't he?" The bitch was silent. "If I'm his Old Lady, that means I'm his. And he's mine."

"He wasn't yours the other night," she countered.

"I'll grant him one slip up," she held up her pointer finger. "But if he wants to work things through with me, it's going to be on my terms."

"If he came to me once, what makes you think he won't do it again?"

Tara grabbed a large butchers knife from the knife block behind her. She held the knife up, the steel blade level with Ima's line of vision. "If he steps out of line again, he'll find out just how similar I can be to Lorena Bobbit."

"I don't believe you have it in you," Ima countered.

"I'll make sure you believe it," Tara answered. "I'll bring the same knife to where ever you are and I'll gut you like a fish. Considering that I'm a doctor, keep in mind, I know exactly where to inflict maximum pain before finishing you off." The emphasize her point, she tossed the bra on the counter of the bar and impaled the knife in the padded material and shredded it.

"You're crazy!" Ima said, putting her hands up and backing away, wide eyed.

"You haven't seen crazy yet," Tara responded, coming around the corner.

The blond was fearful of what Tara might do, but she was unable to turn and run. She continued to walk backwards, hoping to find the door of the Clubhouse so she could flee to the safety of her car.

Tara was mere inches from Ima's face, her foot steps matching the slow, unsure pace that Ima set. "I don't need Jax or any man to take care of my problems. And you, Ima, don't want to be one of my problems. I've learned a few things. Like how to make something look like an accident, and how to not leave any evidence behind."

"I don't like being threatened," Ima swallowed.

"And I don't like whores sniffing around my boyfriend," Tara shrugged. "You stay away from Jax, we won't have a problem, understand?"

Ima nodded then felt the sunlight on her skin. She suddenly turned and fled towards her car.

"That was impressive, Doc," Tig clapped his hands in a one-man applause.

The adrenaline that was pumping through her veins suddenly vanished and she felt sick. She grasped her stomach as she rushed forwards toward the garbage can near the picnic table.

Kozik grabbed a bottle of water from the mini fridge and handed it to Piney to take to Tara.

He walked forward and handed her the chilled bottle.

Gratefully, she took the drink and twisted off the cap. She noted the look on Piney's face. "I'm fine."

"No, you aren't," he argued.

She held the cold bottle to her forehead. "Trust me, I'm fine. It's nothing to worry about. I'm handling it, OK?"

He still wasn't convinced. "I'd feel better if you went home and took care of yourself."

"Piney's right, Tara," Kozik hollered over to the two. "You don't look well."

"Gee, thanks. You sure know how to make a girl feel good," she said sarcastically. She knew they were just concerned, but her emotions were all over the place and she knew part of that was because of her ever changing moods caused by the pregnancy hormones.

"You know what he means," Tig offered.

"I have one more thing I have to do here, then I'll go home. Get some sleep, OK?"

"We can call Karen or Olivia. Get one of them to cover for you in the office," Tig announced.

She shook her head. "It has nothing to do with the office work." She started to walk towards the back hall that lead to the two apartments at the back of the Club House. "I'm gonna need two sets of hands, though. Can you spare the prospects for a few minutes?"

Kozik shook his head no. "They're running some Bitch errands for us right now."

Tig stood up and glanced at Kozik for a second before he headed towards Tara. "We'll do whatever it is you need."

"Thanks," she said as she continued on down the hall. She stopped outside of the door that led to Jax's apartment and took a deep breath before turning the knob. The last time she'd walked through the door, she'd seen the imagine that she feared would be forever burned into her memory. Stepping over the threshold, she could smell the cheap, knock off perfume that assaulted her senses. Granted, Ima had just been in there moments before looking for her now shredded bra, but it didn't sting any less.

"What do you need?" Tig asked, feeling awkward standing in Jax's private space.

"I need that," she pointed to the mattress of the unmade bed, "out of here."

"Where is it going?" Kozik asked as he and Tig, unsure of what they were getting themselves into, stepped over to the bed.

"The dumpster," Tara replied. She saw the guys starting to remove the sheets. "Oh, no. Those go as well. So do the pillows."

Five minutes later, after some grunting as the two men hefted the mattress over their heads and tossed it into the empty dumpster, it landed with a loud bang.

"Satisfied?" Tig asked.

"Almost," she declared. A moment later, Piney returned to her side with a small gas can. He handed it over to her.

She unscrewed the cap , stepped on a small ledge on the dumpster, attempting to find a decent foothold.

Tig placed a steadying hand on her lower back and heard her mutter a soft "thanks" as she awkwardly attempted to pour the gasoline on the material of the mattress. Once the can was empty, she stepped down and Tig stepped away.

Again, she accepted something from Piney's grasp.

With ease, Tara struck the match. She looked at the small flame before tossing it in, easily igniting the offending object. Orange flames danced above the top of the top of the dumpster.

"Now I'm satisfied." Tara affirmed.

* * *

Sorry it was a relatively brief update. I look forward to the hearing what you all think! I really wished that Tara and Ima had a confrontation after she and Jax slept together. The little interaction they had in season 4 was not the confrontation I had been hoping for!


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